Baby Jokes

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Below is our (very) small but growing collection of baby jokes. Some of these were penned by the good folks at; most were passed onto us by family and friends:

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

There are two possible answers:

1) It can't be done. How can they be expected to change a lightbulb when they can't even change their own diapers?

2) None. All they have to do is bellow and the whole world is at their beck and call.

Two babies who are twins ...

Two babies who are twins are a main focal point at a famiy gathering. Friends and relatives are asking each other which baby is which and wondering how to tell them apart.

Trying to be helpful, a three year-old cousin pipes in with a simple solution: "Just wait a few months until they can talk and by then, they'll be able to tell you who they are!"

Two newborns are chatting in the hospital ...

Two newborns are chatting in the hospital and comparing notes. The first newborn, a little boy, says to the second one, a little girl, "What kind of a baby are you?"

She replies, "I don't know. What kind of a baby are you?"

He replies, "I'm a boy."

She replies, "How do you know?"

He replies in a whisper, "Wait until the nurse leave the room and I'll show you!" After a while, the nurse finally leaves the room and the little boy throws off his blanket, pulls back his gown, and says, "Look. Blue booties!"

A man calls the hospital ...

A man calls the hospital and says, "You have to send help immediately! My wife's going into labor!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! This is her husband!"